If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
