She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize