She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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