Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
