How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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