I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
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I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
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I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
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