fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
