There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Randomize
