Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
