I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
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