another moral hangover. fuck.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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