Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Everyone says I win the strip club
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
