Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
