Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
