if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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