Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize