i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
