I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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