I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
