I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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