I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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