I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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