I love black thongs
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Randomize
