Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
