Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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