it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
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