we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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