We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
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He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
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I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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