I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
The power of my boobs compel you
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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