I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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