If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
