Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
