wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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