If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
