Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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