So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
