just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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