If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
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