Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
