i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
