he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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