Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
