First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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