we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
