ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
A bitchslap is in order.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
