If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize