Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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