just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
