don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
