Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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