Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
