it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
