No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
