I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
These tits shall not be calmed
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
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