I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
