fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
