Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
