its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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