I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
